I've Been Framed!

For over a hundred and fifty years players have searched for baseball's version of the Holy Grail: the secret to making umpires call strikes on borderline pitches. There are several theories on how to gain this advantage. Recently Baseball Prospectus, The Economist, and SB Nation renewed the public discussion by examining MLB catchers and their receiving skills. Several of these articles discuss "fooling" the umpire on close pitches: in other words, getting a strike call when a ball call is appropriate.

I'm here to tell you the secret code, the bit of wisdom that can mean the difference between as many as a half-dozen strike calls per game. Here it is. . . get ready. . .

How the catcher receives the ball matters.

Below is a short essay I wrote last year in a fit of frustration. I never thought it would be published, but I thought it appropriate in light of the prevailing ignorance of non-umpires writing these articles. So here it is, the secret book of:

How to Get More Strike Calls

A short essay by a frustrated umpire to aspiring catchers

I'm going to espouse a little. Some of what you will read is the result of frustration. Some of it is a desire to educate. Some of it may even be hogwash. Therefore, "caveat lector!"

Before diving into how to get more strike calls, let’s identify a strike. Most casual baseball fans (and a few "experts," including managers and coaches) believe that a strike is whenever any part of the baseball passes over any part of the plate between the knees and the letters. If you believe this definition of a strike, strap yourself in 'cause it’s about to get bumpy!

Defining the Strike Zone

First, the strike zone differs from rulebook to rulebook. For instance, the major league rulebook describes the strike zone as the area over home plate and judged by the batter as he is prepared to swing at the ball, between the midpoint between the top of the uniform pants and the top of the shoulders, to the hollow beneath the kneecap. The NCAA rulebook describes basically the same area, but uses "bottom of the knee cap" instead of the "hollow beneath the kneecap" as its lower end of the strike zone. High school describes the strike zone as halfway between the shoulders and the waistline to the knees. The high school strike zone is also judged when the hitter assumes his natural batting stance.

Defining a Strike

While there are subtle variations of the strike zone from rulebook to rulebook, defining a strike is much more difficult. The major league rulebook says that a strike should be called when the ball "passes through" any part of the strike zone. Most umpires add "substantially" to the phrase "passes through" when interpreting a strike. Otherwise a splitter that just clips the front end of the plate at the knees, but bounces in the dirt is a strike. Most players and coaches would agree that is not a strike because it did not "pass through" the strike zone, although this is sure to get some objections from pitchers. Likewise a big breaking roundhouse curveball that passes at head level at the front of the plate, but falls to the midpoint level at the back of the plate has not "passed through" the strike zone.

You may not agree with the above definition of a strike, but many umpires have been trained using this definition. It is as good a starting point as any for identifying a strike.

A Strike Call is a Cooperative Effort

Now that we have a basic understanding of what a strike is, let’s discuss how a strike gets called. A strike call is actually a cooperative effort. A strike call is the result of three individuals successfully performing their individual jobs to attain a commonly desired objective. The pitcher wants to throw a strike. The catcher wants a catch a strike. The umpire wants to call a strike. When all of these individuals adequately perform their duties, a strike call often results.

While there are individual responsibilities involved in the strike call, the three individuals also must work as a team to attain a strike. Keep this in mind while you read the description below of the individual jobs.

The Job of the Pitcher

First, let’s look at the job of the pitcher. The pitcher's job is not simply to pitch the ball within the strike zone. Anyone who has ever played high school baseball knows that a pitcher may occasionally get a called strike for a pitch outside the strike zone. No, the pitcher's job is to pitch to the catcher. A strike must look like a strike. Take the following example: the catcher sets up on the low inside corner, but the pitch is at top of the strike zone over the outside of the plate. The pitch has “substantially passed through” the strike zone, but the catcher had to reach across his body to catch the ball. His reach may have even turned the catcher's shoulders. It just looks ugly! No experienced umpire will call this pitch a strike. It doesn't look like a strike to the benches or to any other observer at the park. The pitcher has failed to “hit his spot,” or, in other words, the pitcher has failed to pitch to the catcher.

Umpires are fond of reference points when calling strikes. Pitching to the catcher is usually a matter of delivering the baseball within those reference points. For instance, many umpires use the catcher's shin guards as a point of reference. Many umpires will not call a pitch a strike if it is caught outside of the shin guards. Additionally, some umpires will not call a pitch a strike if it is above the batter’s belt (or a ball or two above the belt - depending on the level). Others may not call a strike that is above the catcher’s face mask. The pitcher and the catcher must work together to discover the umpire’s reference points and work within them.

The Job of the Catcher

The catcher has a tremendous amount of influence over the strike call. A bad catcher may cost his pitcher a half dozen close strikes a game. A good catcher may “buy” many close pitches each game. How? Let me explain.

It is the catcher's job to "present" the ball to the umpire. Not frame, not hold, "present." Presenting a pitch is sticking the pitch out in front of the body with no glove or body movement, and giving the umpire a chance to call a strike. A close pitch that is stuck looks like a strike to onlookers. If the catcher does not move, the pitcher appears to have hit his spot. It looks like a no-brainer strike and the umpire has to find some other reason to not call the pitch (like it’s a foot outside).

Upper level catchers are taught to move slightly laterally in order to get in front of the pitch and eliminate reaching. This is an advanced technique that requires training and practice. If you have neither training nor practice in the technique, my advice is to not attempt it until you are trained. Contrary to some advocates, the umpire does notice this adjustment. The effectiveness of this technique depends on the skill of the receiver and how slight and subtle the movement. Movement by the catcher during the pitch is also distracting to the umpire. An unskilled receiver may end up costing his pitcher strike calls.

A pitch that is caught with movement towards the zone does not fool the umpire. In fact, this amateurish behavior has the opposite effect. The glove movement informs the umpire that the pitch was outside the strike zone and must be moved inside the strike zone. All that is accomplished with techniques like dropping the glove or pulling the pitch is it annoys the umpire. It also shows up the umpire because it actually does fool onlookers since the glove ends up in a place that looks like a strike. Consequently, fans and benches start chirping at the umpire over his calls. Some umpires will penalize the catcher for such behavior, defensively and sometimes offensively. Known as a FYC ("*** you call") in umpire parlance, this response is an unprofessional way some umpires deal with catchers and teams employing childish tactics.

A catcher may also cost his pitcher a low strike by flipping his glove over. No upper level umpire will call a strike if the glove is flipped. A flipped glove tells the world that the ball was low. Yes, even the big breaking curveball will not get a strike call if the glove is flipped. Move up and stick the ball if you want that call.

Since presentment is the catcher's chief responsibility, it is important to stay low and give the umpire a good look at the entire strike zone. Most umpires work "the slot," a space between the catcher and batter, just over the catcher's shoulder. A catcher who stays high forces the umpire up and makes low pitches, especially that low outside call your pitcher wants, difficult to see and call.

Catchers can earn points by blocking pitches. The umpire wears substantial protection, but as every good catcher knows, the ball ends up finding you. If the umpire is hit, give him an opportunity to recover. Go talk to your pitcher. If it was a substantial hit, ask if he's ok. Remember, you are trying to win his influence! You want him healthy and happy!

Knowing the Umpire

Want to become a better catcher? Go do some umpiring! It will give you an entirely new perspective of the game of baseball. It will also force you to learn the rules and provide an understanding of the umpire’s job.

Here is a secret about umpires: we want to call strikes! First, we are trained and encouraged to call strikes. A popular saying among umpires goes, "a pitch is a strike unless I am convinced it isn't!" Here are a few ways that a pitch convinces me that it isn't a strike: 

* It is obviously outside the strike zone.

* It hits the dirt.

* The pitcher misses his spot and forces the catcher to reach.

* The catcher botches the presentment (drops the ball, drops his glove, carries the ball outside the strike zone, etc).

Give me a chance to call a strike, because I want to! Strikes are fun! I practice my strike call during the off-season. I like ringing the batter up! Strikes also make the game go faster and more entertaining. Coaches, fans, players, everyone likes strikes! Nobody ever celebrated a 20 walk game, but a 20 strikeout game makes SportsCenter. Da-da-da, da-da-da!

How the home plate umpire sets up at home plate can tell you a lot about where he likes to call. The umpire that sets up high in a box stance is more likely to call a higher strike zone. An umpire that likes to use the scissors stance and set up low may prefer a lower strike zone. Case in point, for many years the National League umpires used balloon protectors while their brothers in the American league used the inside protector. Consequently, umpires in the American League were forced higher and the AL was known as a high strike league, while the National League was known as a low strike league because the umpires with the inside protectors could set up lower.

Sometimes the umpire's strike zone moves as the game goes on. Usually, the zone gets smaller. That’s a common occurrence. Sometimes the umpire will miss a pitch. We all make mistakes. Its life, move on.

Building a solid rapport with a local umpire may also be worth a few strikes a game. Learn the names of your local umpires. Introduce yourself at the beginning of the game and use the umpire's name during the game. It makes it easier to personalize your questions:

"Pete, was that one pretty close?"

"Yeah, Johnny. You might get that one if you stick it next time."

Umpires recognize YOU because we sit behind you all game. We know the complainers, the catchers with poor attitudes, and the catchers with poor mechanics. We also know the good ones. We also talk about you to other umpires and sometimes to college coaches. Remember, just because umpire Pete is calling your local high school game doesn’t mean that he won’t be on a major college field later in the week.

Keep a book on the local umpires and where they like to call. Isn't it good information to know that Pete doesn't like to call the curve over the outside corner, but favors the high strike? Do you think your coach would appreciate that information?

Give this some thought: you stick a close pitch and hear "ball." What should you do? Learn from it! First, ask yourself whether the umpire called that pitch a strike earlier in the game. If the answer is yes, you may want to ask, "Was that one pretty close?" Maybe the umpire just missed it. If he hasn't called it previously, where is he calling?

Here are a few don’ts that will get you into trouble with an umpire:

* Never, ever turn on an umpire. An umpire will generally answer your question if you do not turn your head.

* Never, ever repeat something an umpire says to a coach

* Never, ever show displeasure over a strike call

Finally, never, ever throw the umpire under the bus to your coach. Case in point, coach to his catcher Johnny:

Coach: Johnny! Where's that pitch?

Johnny: It’s right down the middle!

First, this is arguing balls and strikes and the coach will either get warned or tossed for this behavior. The umpire may also warn or toss you (depending on the age of play). Second, you have thrown the umpire under the bus in front of the teams and the spectators. Remember, you want the umpire on your side. You, your pitcher, and the umpire are working together to get strikes. You can't get a strike call without the umpire! Do you think throwing him under the bus helps him do his job more effectively?

It is a shame that coaches do not teach these basic lessons to their catchers. A skilled catcher is worth several strikes each game, often meaning the difference between winning and losing ball games. Practice these simple techniques and you will get more strike calls.

A Brief Word on Work Ethic

Recently I was listening to ESPN Radio in my car and ex-quarterback turned announcer Trent Dilfer provided the following "analysis" of [an unnamed quarterback]. It sounded more like advice than analysis, and it struck a cord in me, so I thought I would share. Here it is, paraphrased:

Work ethic might be part of it, because you might think you're working hard, but you're not working hard enough. Dilfer says he was the same way earlier in his career. He thought he was working hard, but didn't realize there was a whole other level of hard work. You have to talk to the right people and be introspective. You can stay after hours, do some reps, and watch some extra film and think you're putting in extra time, but there's a whole other level that comes with perfecting your craft. Every single day you're working on your mechanics because confidence in your mechanics leads to confidence on the field. You don't just watch film, you dig through layers of it and go deep into it and come up with every contingency plan for every look you'll see. You don't go back to California in the off season, you stay and work with your teammates.

So how many of us work on our mechanics every day? How many of us study the rulebook every night? Analyze video during the off season? Work on our conditioning?

I realize that although amateur umpires are paid, it is still more hobby than vocation. But on the other hand there is PRIDE, and WORK ETHIC, and COMMITMENT. We all want to be great umpires, but there is a price to pay to get there.

The point is that improving your skills takes hard work and a time commitment. Attending a camp or clinic every year, typing a clever response on an umpire message board, or perusing the BRD while on the can is not enough. You have to work hard enough, even when no one is watching and it doesn’t seem to matter to anyone else.

Umpires, Be Proud of Your History!

"Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile."
- Christy Mathewson, Hall of Fame pitcher

“The owners basically see them like bases,” Fay Vincent, the baseball commissioner from 1989 to 1992, told me. “They say, ‘We need a base, we need an umpire, same thing. We’ve got to pay them, they’re human beings, but they’re basically bases.’”
– Bruce Weber, As They See 'em: A Fan's Travels in the Land of Umpires

As umpires we take a lot of abuse. It goes with the uniform. However, being called a piece of *@#$*% and seeing yourself as that are two different matters. There are two perceptions out there: the public perception and the personal perception. We hear from time to time that umpires should strive to change public perception, but just as important is the perception of ourselves that we take on the field. Changing our personal perception and how our umpire community views itself is something with our power, and, in many ways, even more important that the public perception.

Umpires are loyal. An umpire, any umpire, is part of the umpire community. We do not publicly condemn other fellow umpires. Experienced umpires generously share their time and advice with new umpires – often giving tips, books and even equipment to those starting out. We protect and appreciate our own. Umpires want other umpires to succeed and do well.

Umpires are disciplined and masters of self control. Shouldering public disdain, ridicule, and outright hatred is part of the job. It takes a strong person to step on that field, vastly outnumbered, and proceed to do the best job you can. Most of this hatred results from ignorance. Players, coaches, fans, “baseball insiders”. . . not one of them fully understands what an umpire does. But this does not mean we are secretive. On the contrary! Umpires are ready to share their training with non-umpires. Usually non-umpires are not willing to make the (large) commitment to learn the craft. The public does not see or care to know the sacrifices that the umpire must make to learn and improve his craft.

While the public perception of umpires has always been either malevolent or at best apathetic, umpire history is just as rich and interesting as the players and managers. Since Alexander Cartwright penned the Kickerbocker Rules in 1845, umpires have been an integral part of every baseball game. However, most umpires are oblivious to this history.

Think you know your umpire history? Try to name the umpire or umpires at these historic events:

(1) The umpires officiating at the famous Merkle’s Boner game of 1908

(2) The home plate umpire for Roger Clemens’ record breaking 20 strike out game in 1986

(3) The left field umpire responsible for Steve Bartman “no interference” call during the 2003 playoffs

(4) The plate umpire during Jackie Robinson’s steal of home during the 1955 World Series

And here’s a bonus question: name the nine MLB umpires enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame.

[Answers below]

Umpires, be proud of your community and its history! Take some time and learn about umpires at all levels, past and present. Take pride in your appearance and your training. Help your fellow umpires as you strive to improve your craft. While these things may not be known to the public, they are known to you and your fellow umpires. It does matter!

Answers:

(1) Hank O’Day, plate and Bob Emslie, bases
(2) Vic Voltaggio
(3) Mike Everitt
(4) Bill Summers

Bonus: Tom Connolly & Bill Klem (1953), Billy Evans (1973), Jocko Conlan (1974), Cal Hubbard (1976), Al Barlick (1989), Bill McGowan (1992), Nestor Chylak (1999) and Doug Harvey (2010).

Instant Replay Is Inevitable

During the World Series, Major League Baseball announced that baseball umpires, players, and league officials will meet in December to discuss player-umpire relationships, and possibly instant replay. ESPN reports that this meeting was prompted “by the Major League Baseball Players Association after it received an increased number of complaints from players this season about umpires.”

Umpires are cynical by nature. We expect the worse – we have to. For the umpire there is no such thing as a routine play. Umpire guru Jim Evans writes, “Nothing is routine while it is happening.” There is always the possibility of a bobble, a miss, a deflection, or a player that just plain loses his mind and does something unexpected. The umpire does not cause the unexpected play, but must adjust to it to get the call correct. Often the routine can change into the unusual in a second or less.

This off-season many umpires have already experienced unusual and significant changes. For instance, many amateur umpires will be required to carry a stopwatch during the NCAA 2011 season to enforce certain speed-up rules. I suppose that George Carlin is rolling in his grave. In a famous bit the late comedian compared football to baseball, including the differences in pace of the games:

Football is rigidly timed, and it will end "even if we have to go to sudden death."

Baseball has no time limit: "We don't know when it's gonna end!"

Well, things change, and, for the most part, things change because of some financial interest. For that reason I fully expect that Major League Baseball will implement instant replay into its games. Football, America’s favorite sport, has shown the effectiveness of instant replay, and any casual fan can see on high-def television when an umpire kicks a call.

Not that baseball fans are driven by a hatred and distrust of umpires. On the contrary, as writer Bruce Weber points out in a recent New York Times article, improvements in television has increased the public’s awareness of just how difficult the umpire’s job truly is. Case in point the recent call Gerry Davis made during the ALCS. C.C. Sabathia tagged Nelson Cruz at home and Davis called Cruz out. Even during slow motion instant replay, it appeared that Cruz had beat Sabathia to the plate until one angle showed conclusively that Cruz was out and Davis had made the right call. And there are many umpire decisions that make Davis’s call look easy!

Professional baseball is by its nature a business. Grown men are paid to play a child’s game. In order to survive and prosper, a business must be able to change and adapt to the public’s demands – and the public is demanding instant replay. Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig has procrastinated and delayed, but the media has spearheaded the demand for replay. ESPN has taken the lead in framing the instant replay debate, including providing instant replay during this year's Little League World Series, just before the baseball post-season. One must wonder about the media’s motivation. It seems that once the rule is adopted television cameras will be mandatory at every MLB game. The broadcast company that holds the contract to provide this service stands to make a handsome profit.

Baseball has survived the Designated Hitter Rule. Baseball has survived AstroTurf, lowering the mound, and night baseball. All of these changes were driven by economics. Baseball will survive the implementation of instant replay. As Bert Lahr, the actor famous for playing the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz, once said, “If you want a full house, you give the public what it wants.” Lahr was referring to the spectacular turnout at Hollywood producer Louis Mayer’s funeral. Let’s hope that giving the public what it thinks it wants doesn’t turn out to be the first step in baseball’s funeral march, with Commissioner Selig leading it dressed as the Cowardly Lion.

RANT: Bob Davidson Tosses Fan, Gets Grilled In Media

After Bob Davidson threw out a drunken and disorderly fan during a September 7 game at Milwaukee Beer Park, St. Louis writer Bernie Miklasz wrote a scathing article entitled, Ump Davidson, A Disgrace to the Game.

Below is Miklasz's article with my comments and observations:

If umpire Bob Davidson ejected that fan in Milwaukee on behalf of Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina, then it's wrong. So what if the fan bugged Molina? Fans heckling or needling players? This has been going on in baseball for quite some time now ... like, well, forever. Why would any player or umpire pay attention to it?

The "fan" was cited for disorderly conduct. The police apparently agree that this fan's conduct went beyond acceptable public conduct for "heckling or needling players" and was a criminal act. Mr. Miklasz, next time before engaging in foolish diatribe, why not investigate and report facts. Speculation and conjecture makes a journalist look foolish and irresponsible.

Really, it was no surprise to see Davidson make a spectacle and a fool of himself Tuesday night in Milwaukee. This is Davidson's game, remember. He apparently thinks fans pay good money to watch him work.

As the “only official representative of baseball on the ball field” (Rule 9.05, General Instructions to Umpires), home plate umpire Davidson is directed by rule to “Take full charge of, and be responsible for, the proper conduct of the game.” Davidson was certainly within his authority to remove the fan. See Rule 9.01e.

It is clear that Miklasz doesn’t know the first thing about umpires or their job.

Davidson has a history of grandstanding to draw attention to himself, whether it be his incessant balk calls, his meddling into other umpires' calls, his rabbit ears, thin skin, and quick ejections.

Baseball players, managers and coaches have come to expect Davidson to hot-dog his way through games.

After being ejected by Davidson in a 1993 game, Philadelphia catcher Darren Daulton said of the ump: "He's one of those impact umpires. In my opinion the game was on ESPN and he couldn't wait to suit up and make an impact. He's one of those guys where you go into his house, there's lots of pictures of himself and none of his family."

This Darren Daulton (mug shot photo at left) who has multiple arrests for DUI in Florida, has faced domestic violence charges, and spent two months in jail for contempt of court? Miklasz cites his opinion? Really?

Tuesday night, as soon as second-base umpire Tim Timmons made a controversial call -- ruling out Craig Counsell for sliding out of the basepaths -- I said to my wife: "No way Davidson will allow himself to be upstaged like that. Just watch."

Gosh, a reporter AND a soothsayer? Is there anything Bernie Miklasz can’t do?

And sure enough, Davidson went on to eject Cardinals pitching coach Dave Duncan, a Milwaukee center fielder Chris Dickerson, and even a fan. And his strike zone? Davidson was off all night. His strike zone was as wide and as out of control as his ego.

I can’t comment about Dave Duncan because I don’t know what was said, but Dickerson’s ejected himself. Dickerson threw his helmet to the ground after a strikeout. Professionals know that this is an automatic ejection, and a major league baseball reported should know this too. As for the strike zone comment, columnist Rob Neyer wrote about Miklasz's opinion and found that according to pitchf/x, Davidson's zone was tight, not wide.

This is nothing new. It's business as usual. Davidson blew a call in the 1992 World Series, calling a runner safe at home when the runner (Deion Sanders) was clearly out. Davidson incorrectly took a HR away from Mark McGwire late in the 1998 season. Davidson embarrassed himself by blowing a call in a game between the U.S. and Japan in the 2006 World Baseball Classic.

More recently, Davidson cost the Florida Marlins a game with a bad fair/foul call that gave a win to Philadelphia.

Apparently Bernie Miklasz believes that good umpires never make mistakes, unlike managers, players, or even journalists who make mistakes all the time with impunity. Jim Joyce is currently the best umpire in the game (voted by the players) and he made a horrific call depriving Armando Galarraga of a perfect game. Shit happens.

I don't even know why I'm mentioning specific episodes; if I listed every call that Davidson got wrong I'd be typing for the next 48 hours at least. He's a disgrace to the game and has been for many, many years. Baseball people laugh at him.

While you’re at it, try typing every call Davidson got right since becoming a full time MLB umpire in 1982 (at the age of 30). You can take a break after 48 days.

Many “baseball” people respect Bob Davidson. After resigning along with 22 veteran umpires during the 1999 contract dispute, Davidson returned to the minor leagues to work his way back to the major leagues. It takes guts and character to stand up for what is right and to start over after life beats you down.

But here's what worse: that MLB continues to employ this clown. Davidson is living proof of the low, almost non-existent, standards for MLB umpiring in today's game.

I'm surprised Davidson didn't eject Trevor Hoffman for stealing the spotlight while nailing down his 600th career save.

Geez, did Davidson piss in Miklasz's Wheaties? or run over his dog? Davidson tossed a drunken and disorderly “fan” when he persisted with a homophobic slur towards a player. Davidson stated that he believed Molina was about to confront the fan, so Davidson took action. That sounds like good game management and exactly the type of umpire MLB needs.

Next time Mr. Miklasz has an issue with an umpire's game management, he needs put his personal agenda aside and check his facts before writing a public article condemning a man for doing his job. Although responsible journalist seems to be an oxymoron these days.

How’s that for a Miklasz-type ad hominem attack?

Does Baseball Need Umpires?

Today's Wall Street Journal features a story by Jonah Keri entitled, “Does Baseball Need Umpires? Recent Bad Calls Have Critics Howling for Better Umps, But Maybe It's a Job for Machines.”

Baseball without umpires? What in the world would that be like?

Well, Mr. Keri doesn’t offer a replacement strategy, so I will offer some options for officiating our Grand Old Game after all the umpires get tossed:

Even the most casual fan knows about the $10 million Pitch-f/x system installed in every MLB ballpark. It’s Fox Network’s favorite toy. The Pitch-f/x system determines the location of the pitch once it reaches the front edge of the plate. Umpires have been calling balls and strikes for over 100 years years that “pass through the zone,” but since we are using superior technology to replace the inferior umpires, Rule 2.00 (defining the Strike Zone) must be rewritten. I suggest the following:

The STRIKE ZONE is that area over the front edge of home plate the upper limit of which is a horizontal line at the midpoint between the top of the shoulders and the top of the uniform pants, and the lower level is a line at the hollow beneath the kneecap. The Strike Zone shall be determined from batter to batter by some fancy computer. This is not to be interpreted as implying that the fancy computer or its programmers will use any form of judgment in determining each batter’s strike zone.

I propose a light up home plate, foul lines, and bases. For instance: if the pitch is a strike, home plate will flash green. Everyone likes the color green, it is the color of money. It will remind everyone of the small fortune saved by eliminating the umpires. If it is a ball, the plate will flash red – the same color Earl Weaver’s face would turn when those pesky umpires were still around. Foul ball, red. Fair ball, green. Safe, green. Out, red.

When the cameras in the stadium cannot determine safe or out, I suggest an alternating system of calls, much like a possession arrow in basketball. The “call arrow” will be displayed on the stadium scoreboard.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

About balks: a computer will also monitor the pitcher for false starts and other deceptions. Again, we will have to trust that the programming choices for the baseball super computer are completely fair and neutral. No MIT grads from Boston programming our super computer to watch New York's Andy Pettit. Maybe the mound could explode with fireworks when the pitcher balks? That would be COOL!

Now that we have a baseball stadium resembling a pinball machine, the only remaining problem is what to do when there is a play that is not covered by the rules? Sometimes baseball has that screwy play that requires a judgment decision. Many proponents of technology over human officiating suggest using one human official to make that decision. I agree. No computer could ever make those kinds of tough calls requiring an expert's understanding of the rules and superior judgment. Luckily, there is one person that is already on the payroll and in the stadium that is obviously the most qualified person to make this kind of call.

That person is the television color analyst.

I look forward to seeing this new age baseball played very soon. The future sounds awesome! I will be sure to bring my 3D glasses and propeller cap.

The Pros from Dover

Dust bowl infields, 20” high mounds, quarter mile hikes from parking lot to field (with no place to change), no baseballs, no breaks, lousy game fees, 18 year old girl site administrators. . . but hey, we’re the Pros from Dover! Situation Under Control!

WELCOME TO THE MISSOURI SHOW ME STATE GAMES!!!

This past weekend I hosted a special guest to mid-Missouri: MajorDave from Kentucky. Many of you know MajorDave from the umpire boards where he is a regular contributor and self-professed gear junky. I hooked MajorDave up with a weekend of officiating the 18 and over division of the Missouri Show Me State Games while he was visiting the area on business.

Honestly, we had a great time. The weather was absolutely fantastic and all of the adult teams played hard and conducted themselves exemplary. Of course, who could complain about the Pros from Dover? We had five two hour games on Saturday and four on Sunday (no breaks). Unfortunately, Columbia’s famous Shakespeare’s Pizza was closed by the time we finished on Saturday, so I was unable to treat the Major to the best pizza in the State. Maybe some other time.

While the Pros From Dover were cruising on their field, the wheels were falling off the SMSG wagon. For several games in the 18+ division there were NO UMPIRES and we heard many complaints about that situation. Some poor high school kid with no umpiring experience was put behind the plate. Then on Sunday morning we met a Missouri umpire who drove to Columbia from several hours away only to find out there wasn’t a game for him. This is not the organization adult players with professional or major college experience expect from a state-wide tournament. Frankly, the organization was an embarrassment to me personally as I was hosting an out-of-state umpire and trying to positively represent my area. On the other hand, kudos to the players and fans that made the weekend so great!

And thanks to MajorDave for being a great partner and consummate professional.

Irresponsible Journalism Pisses Me Off

Wow. Just wow.

I just have to shake my head over the inane drivel published recently by the Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly. In a June 22 article writer David Frank condemns MLB umpire Gerry Davis for his (at worst) request for photos with Red Sox players for his son and friends.

I take exception with this article for several reasons. First, Mr. Frank’s condemnation of Gerry Davis is ostensibly based on reports from the Boston Herald and WEEI radio in Boston. Since Gerry Davis predictably declined comment on the matter there is no one left to object to Mr. Frank’s indictment based upon a load of hearsay and conjecture. I am, of course, mindful that hearsay and conjecture “are kinds of evidence,” at least according to Lionel Hutz.

Is it so unreasonable to believe that something more was happening during this pre game exchange? The MLB website lists Gerry Davis as active with the Big Brothers/Big Sisters and the Make-A-Wish Foundation, as well as Blue for Kids, so how about a little investigative journalism, Mr. Frank? Or, if getting the facts straight is asking too much, how about a modicum of responsible journalism before assailing the character of a 25 year veteran umpire. Here’s an excerpt of Mr. Frank’s hard-hitting prose:

As the story goes, the blue shirt's young guests were decked in Sox garb as they sat in the team's dugout waiting for members of the 2009 squad to come onto the field. It was then that Davis (who declined a Lawyers Weekly interview request) allegedly called players over as they exited the runway for an impromptu get-to-know-you session with his son's posse.

You can hardly blame our local heroes, including the slumping David Ortiz, for posing, but if the reports are true, this doesn't sound kosher.

Mr. Frank is telling us that he doesn’t know what happened and wasn’t present for the events. You know, if we weren’t conjecturing on pure speculation, I might hypothetically agree with Mr. Frank’s analysis. Wow. Just wow.

Second, assuming Gerry Davis requested Red Sox players to pose for photos, so what? Gerry Davis is a professional umpire who officiates a game. He’s not a judge although Mr. Frank and other similarly baseball obsessed lawyers can’t seem to understand the game of baseball except in legalese. No doubt Mr. Frank read “The Common Law Origins of the Infield Fly Rule” while a 1L at Boston University School of Law and has been since unable to see the game and its actors in non-legal terms. Or am I unfairly and irresponsibly mischaracterizing Mr. Frank?

Mr. Frank challenges the integrity of this 25 year MLB veteran umpire by questioning whether Ortiz received a preferential call during the game - a check swing in the eighth. Ortiz walked during the AB. Really? I mean, REALLY? The night before GD worked the dish and Ortiz went 0-2 with 2 walks. Clearly there’s a conspiracy afoot Mr. Woodward!

Mr. Frank correctly points out that MLB umpires are not constrained by the Canons of Judicial Conduct. I say, “Thank goodness!” But since we have all stumbled into the wonderful land of Frank-dom, maybe it would be a good idea to impose the ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct on journalists. Especially Rules 3.3 and 3.4 which involve candor and fairness.

Even if the worst has happened here and Gerry Davis asked David Ortiz to pose for a photo with his son, so what? Gerry Davis has failed to maintain an appearance of impartiality? Get over yourself! I wonder how many times all star David Ortiz has been asked to pose for pictures by opposing players. Oh, wait! There he is on the same team as Derek Jeter! I bet that makes a BoSox fan's skin crawl. Yes, fraternization is generally prohibited, but ultimately we are dealing with people interacting with people at a place of business. Just like a judge may have interaction with attorneys both inside and outside the courtroom, umpires may have interaction with players away from the field. For instance, MLB reports that Russ Ortiz, Matt Herges and Will Ohman participated in the Umps Care golf charity during the off season. No doubt they were angling for preferential calls on check swings!

I suppose the worst part of the publication of this biased and unprofessional piece is that it is purely an act of bullyism. Gerry Davis will not defend accusations that are obviously trivial and beneath him. Umpire bashing is a national pastime and Gerry Davis is a public figure, so fire away Mr. Frank. I'm sure it makes for a funny fluff piece for your rag. Gerry Davis will not respond to your speculation and character assassination – its all part of the job as a professional umpire.