Three umpires walk into a bar. . .
The bartender asks their umpiring philosophies. The first umpire, a rookie, gives a serious look and says, "I call 'em as I see 'em."
The second umpire, who is more experienced, hoists his beer and with a laugh says, "I call 'em the way they are."
The last umpire, a grizzled veteran, leans back in his chair, takes a long draw on his beer, and after a pause and with all eyes upon him says, "They ain't nothin' until I call 'em."